Separation and Presence

Nothing in life can truly separate us

The Importance of Presence: If we reflect, we can see that there are many different ways for people to be present to us. The presence of people is a very determinative part of our lives and our happiness. When people we care about cease to be present, for various reasons, we can become very upset. When a loved one dies, we become very distressed. The loved one is no longer present, and this absence causes great suffering. Breakups and betrayals are also sources of great suffering. When we love someone, we long to be present with them. And when they leave us, we become very sad.

Multiple Modes of Presence: But, perhaps there is a way to find consolation, in the fact that there is not just one way to be present. We are creatures inhabiting bodies, and so the primary mode of presence is sharing our current location in space and time. We want to be physically present, in the same space and time, with those we love, to be able to touch and hear them. The life of the family takes place in the centralized spatial and temporal location of the home. A family has a very hard time with long-term spatial separation, and certainly cannot handle temporal separation. Parents and child, spouses, etc., have to, by definition, at least for stretches of time, exist together and simultaneously.

But, this primary mode of presence is not the only form of presence. As embodied creatures existing in a particular moment in space and time, physical presence is the most powerful form of presence. But, there are other forms of presence.

For instance, someone can be present digitally. They are not here with us in the flesh, but nevertheless being available digitally, by phone or text, is an important form of presence. However, digital friendships need physical presence, if they are going to evolve, unless there is some insuperable obstacle. Digital friends need to be open to visiting one another in person, and romantic relationships cannot evolve on exclusively digital terms. Physical touch is an obviously important component of romantic relationships.

But, people can also be physically present, but mentally and emotionally distant. There might be people who live in our neighborhood, go shopping at the same grocery store, or who even work with us, but who are mentally and emotionally distant. We might work with people with whom we talk, strictly for utilitarian purposes. There really is no emotional presence in these relationships. We leave these people behind at the end of the period of work. Or, there might be people who just dislike us, or who are extremely guarded. They live in our building, or they pass us every day. Perhaps we once knew them, but now they no longer speak to us, because something happened and they just have shut down.

Physical presence is not sufficient for genuine connection, then. People can be physically present, but they have separated themselves emotionally, and are holding themselves in reserve.

The Separation of Death: What happens when people die? Are they simply no longer present? Many people believe in a spiritual form of presence. The loved one is not absolutely gone. Many people and cultures tend to the dead. Ancient Egyptians, and Mexicans, in the Dia de los Muertos tradition, will leave food out for the dead. People believe that the dead have gone to another place. They are no longer physically present, but there is a spiritual presence. The dead, through their spiritual presence, can assist the living. People pray to the dead, suggesting that there is an ongoing presence of the dead person, even though the body is decaying in the earth. Even if people do not believe in ongoing consciousness after death, people can still be present in the form of memories and heirlooms they have left behind. We retain a kind of presence in our children, for instance. Memories, heirlooms, and children are not us, but they are traces of us, evidence of our impact while we were alive.

Space and Time: The fact that some people interact with the dead in a spiritual way, praying to them and detecting their ongoing impact, suggests that space and time are not absolute constraints on presence. I mentioned earlier that physical presence, in the same temporal and spatial location, is the most powerful form of presence. This suggests that spatial and temporal proximity determine the quality of presence. But, if we can interact with the dead, this means that spatial and temporal proximity do not completely control modes of presence. The dead may not be spatially or temporally close to us, but they can still be spiritually close. For instance, someone may know a saint who existed centuries before, in a distant country. This saint is spatially and temporally distant, but we can still cultivate a bond with this saint through prayer. The spiritual presence, rather than the physical presence, allows us to transcend spatial and temporal limitations.

People who have died enter a special domain, then, in virtue of which they can be present to us, even apart from the constraints of space and time. If there is an immaterial soul, it does not necessarily have to coincide with a particular space. What is not material, does not have extension that can take up space.

Kant was familiar with the idea of virtual presence. The soul, that is, since it is not made up of matter, does not have itself a spatial location. We cannot say the soul is here or in this six by six foot quadrant of space. The soul has no extension, but it must nevertheless act in a certain region of space, if it is to have an impact on the body. Kant writes, “The presence of immaterial things in the corporeal world is a virtual not a local presence…” (Inaugural Dissertation 2:414).

The immaterial soul can act at a particular location, but does not have a particular location. This is virtual presence. This metaphysics can provide a framework for how the souls of the dead might still touch us, even if their bodies have long decayed and are far away from us. The immaterial soul has no location, and so it would not make sense that we have to be at a certain place to make contact with that soul.

The immaterial soul also can transcend temporal duration. Since the soul is immaterial, it is not bound to the limitations of the body. When the body dies, the soul does not, since it does not depend on bodily operations to remain alive.

Omnipresence of God: We can also meditate on the omnipresence of God. Kant identifies God as a noumenal entity (Critique of Pure Reason, A252). This means that God is beyond all possible experience. We can only think about God, and perhaps experience His effects, but we cannot have a direct experience of Him. God is an infinite being beyond space and time. God is not in a particular place or time, but transcends all particular places and times. There is no space where God is not, and God is fully present in that space, not partially present. Similarly, there is no time where is God is not, and God is not present in just one iteration of Himself in a particular instant. He is fully present in every particular moment. On the contrary, we are present only partially in a given moment. When I was five years old, I was not fully present, but only present with my five year old self. I am much bigger now!

In our finite lives, we spread out in particular locations in space and time. I am fully present in only one spatial location. I might be able to expand this, by my digital presence. Through an online blog, for instance, part of me—my thoughts—can extend through various parts of space. But, this reach is quite limited. I can only be fully present in one location in space, and in fact, even this potentiality is dubious. In one part of space, only one finger of mine is present. My arm is not present in the same location as my finger, nor is my chest in the same location as my head, etc. So, I am not fully present, really, in any part of space, but only partially present. My awareness also only circumscribes a narrow portion of space. I am aware of what is directly in front of me in my visual field, but only dimly aware, through some sounds and tactile sensations, of what is behind me.

I also only exist in the now. I cannot fully exist in the past, nor can I fully exist in the future. The past is just a memory I have of previous moments of existence. The future is just a projection of the coming moments of my existence. But, God, as a noumenal object, is able to encompass all times. Past, present, and future do not progress in piecemeal fashion for Him, but are present all at once.

So, God’s presence is fundamentally different from human presence. Space and time, according to Kant, cannot be conditions of God’s existence. Space and time pertain only to how we, as finite creatures, view reality (Critique of Pure Reason, B72). God does not have gaps in His existence, as we do, existing in only one spatial and temporal location and not others.

Our Great Hope: And God’s omnipresence is our great hope. I mentioned earlier that separation is a painful reality of human life. But, nothing and no one can be separate from God. St. Paul, in the Acts of the Apostles, indicates God’s independence of space: “God, who made the world, and all things therein; he, being Lord of heaven and earth, dwelleth not in temples made with hands…” (Acts 17:24). God, in other words, does not occupy a particular abode, a temple made by human construction in a particular location, but is present everywhere. God’s omnipresence means that “in Him we live, and move, and are…” (Acts 17:28).

God, as omnipresent, is never separate from us, and in fact we depend on Him for our existence at every second, in every place we ever occupy.

What does this mean for the difficult phenomenon of separation? In life, we may become separated from a loved one. For instance, a government might disappear them, or they might be victims of kidnapping, or they might decide for some reason to exclude us from their lives.

Still, this person is not separate from God. And neither are we. Since we are both part of the being of God, and God knows each person, we can still be present to our loved ones in God. We can still have a spiritual connection, even though we may not be able to see that person as physically or even digitally present.

This is a great consolation. There is never any complete separation in life, unless we choose to ignore the ongoing link. Even death does not separate us from other people, nor does a disappearance or a leave-taking. We can be present to our loved ones in God, and we can even exchange messages with them, through God, by prayer.